When Life Turns Malignant, Life is Our Greatest Bliss

Ask a person living on the margins of life
Months, days, hours, minutes to live.
Every breath matters. Life seems so beautiful!
The greatest bliss in this world is ‘life’!!

Life, that resides inside our tiny cells
A miniscule complex invisible world
Complete in itself…with nucleus, cytoplasm
Mitochondria, the powerhouses…
Life, the hectic motion of cell molecules
That sustain us, as we sustain them

Have you ever bothered about little cells
Inside your tissues and bones? They exist.
But do you ever think they are gorgeous?
Or superb? Or wonderful?
Are you thankful to your good cells?
Are you aware of their power?

No. We assume we are the stalwarts
Able bodied and alive. Cells merely reside in us.
Oh! But aren’t we just an ensemble of cells?
Walking talking cell-clusters of all shapes and kinds
Then why would cells not matter!

For a cancer patient, every cell matters
How many white blood cells, red blood cells
good cells, bad cells…cell count counts!
Debilitating fear prevails, of some sickly cell
traveling to distant healthy body parts

To install another tumor that devastates.

The sole purpose of life, then centers around

Despising malignant cells – throwing them out
Loving healthy cells – feeding them with goodies
Healthy cells equal life, unhealthy cells a step closer to demise.
Every good cell matters, it’s meant to be nurtured and fed
Every bad cell too matters, for it needs to have an end
Each cells matters in this battle, of tightly holding on to dear life!!

We live by cells. Cells become life. Cells are life.
It’s as if deadly cells know they are all powerful
Angry disordered clumsy beings that turn malicious
Cause havoc, with loving sober cells they begin a fight.

But cells live by us, as they need us for their very life.
For only we can feed them, as they don’t have a mouth
Bad cells depend on us, they eat what we eat. They lose power
Food becomes our power, to save robust cells and their life.

That day is not far when we shall selectively feed
 healthy cells
While killing only bad cells, depriving crooked villians of their life

Victory over cancer will one day redeem many precious lives

Sure, life in our healthy cells is a precious gift, greatest of all
When life begins to get exhausted of living, true bliss it is
To relish each and every moment…of what we call life !!



I started the above poem with bliss of life in my mind. But given that I have closely seen a few cancer patients at various stages of this malady, and talked to many more of those suffering while I happened to visit cancer wards, the poem took a different turn and became not only complex but also out of tune and form. Disorganized, like malignant cells.

Victory of life is about good cells and bad cells…more so for those fighting with cancer. Besides other reasons, cancer cells win when they are fed enough for them to become overpowering. They compel good cells to commit suicide.

Also, “Cancer cell do not drive the growth and spread of tumors alone — they can bully their healthy neighbours into helping them.”

Thus, they are baddies through and through. One day when science is able to cut off all kinds of support to bad cells, that is when there will be cancer cure.

~~~ ~~~

#WorldCancerDay #WeCanICan .

He Never Died…



He Lives On…in me

This day
He was over.
Long lost
Long gone
Does he now live in heaven?
Possibly he took birth again.
Will never know
But for me…
He was
He is
He will remain
My one and only father
For, a father is a father
He continues…
Flows in our blood
Lives in our cells
Runs in our veins
Thrives in our thoughts
Forever in our hearts
Did ‘that’ day
When he left us
Does this day
19th of April


What’s wrong with Jimmy?


Read my simple short story till the end…


Today, Jimmy has been barking more than usual. Much more. In fact he’s not stopping at all. As I work in my backyard – raking leaves, watering the plants and collecting lemons – Jimmy barks non-stop.

That is unusual given that he is quite used to seeing me around working the way I’m doing today. On most days, as I go about my little tasks, I can see the big dog looking affectionately towards me from over the fence that divides my house and his house. I mean, his master’s house.

It’s as if Jimmy knows me well. Many a times I have thought that they tie him up here at their backyard and forget him, therefore he feels happy to see me. Less lonely. But today, he’s been behaving like a stranger. Or is it that today I seem to be a stranger to him?

Just as Jimmy barks continuously and I speculate on all possible reasons for his weird behavior, I see my neighbor come out of the house. I pause the hosing of plants and take a step forward in a gesture of hello, waving my hand slightly and uttering a soft ‘hi’. But it seemed as if she didn’t see me.

Hence I move further ahead near the fence while Jimmy continues to go berserk. My neighbor too now steps forward, seems to be coming towards her side of our common fence. Has she seen me now? But all she does is spread out the washed laundry on her clothesline. She’s situated almost face-to-face but literally ignores me. Possibly she blames her dog’s barking on me, I think to myself.

I shrug my shoulders and get back to the task of shearing a plant. Upset mood means less focus and I cut my hand. Not a huge cut, and luckily it didn’t hurt at all. Surprising that there’s no bleeding either. But it’s time to go indoors as the weather is getting hot.

As I step inside my house, I remember something. Today was one of the very rare days when I woke up quite late. So much so that my son had already left home for his day. He must have taken whatever lunch or snacks he could think of. Thus feeling guilty I whinge to myself, that at least he could wake me up.

I suddenly have warm feelings for him. I had not seen him this morning so I try to call him on his mobile.

As I get connected, he says “Hello!”.  I can hear his voice saying repeatedly “Hello!…Hello!!”… but why can’t he hear me saying hello?

“Who’s there?”, he asks.

“It’s me…mom! Can’t you hear me?”

I raise my voice, almost shouting. But no. He cannot hear. A bit upset over this too, I decide to call later.

What kind of day is this? May be a face-wash or a bath will refresh me. P1040905 crp nI walk listlessly towards the washroom, and as I open the tap on the hot water side, I touch the flowing water but cannot feel the hot water. Now, please don’t tell me the water heater is also playing up!

No warmth or coldness felt as water slips between, or rather through my fingers and palm. Surprised and still washing my face, I suddenly look at the mirror. I can’t locate myself! Where am I?  Nowhere. I can’t see myself. I can’t! I’m not in the mirror!!

Dazed, I thump down on the bathroom floor. What’s this?
I suddenly know what it is. I had ceased to exist. I didn’t wake up in the morning. I touch my arms, my legs and my face in frenzy. I am real. No. I am not real! I am not real!!


I sit there for long. Finally, as I gather my calm, I decide. For now I’ll continue to work in the kitchen, finish the meals I was preparing for my boy. He’s now a big boy. My little boy. My baby. I will cook his favorite dish. He may not be able to see me when he comes back but hopefully he can eat it.

Tears roll down my eyes and my vision gets blurred as I think of the days ahead when he won’t ever get any food made by his mama. And one day he will get married but I won’t be able to attend it. Thinking thus I drop the cooking pot.

Thud!!  Bang!!!

The bin man outside had banged the empty rubbish bin on the ground with a loud bang. I wake up with a jerk. Too baffled, I look around. I’m on my bed. I can hear my own thumping heartbeat while my both hands are clutched together on my chest. Sweat dripping down my burning forehead, and streaks of tears down my cheeks. I am crying. I cry even more on getting back my life. I thank God. I thank God a million times for this precious life.

Life is precious. Every moment is a treat. But…you never know for how long this benevolent life is going to treat us with its goodies and when it’s going to trick us by suddenly deciding to withdraw its treats all at once.

Taste life…touch it…smell it…see it…and hear it!!  That is life supposed to be for us flesh and blood beings. Even a ghost can do all the thinking and brooding”, I find myself uttering out aloud.

My voice fascinates me. The sound of it seems so melodious now. I always took it for granted. I have always postponed practicing singing.

I jump out of the bed with enthusiasm of a new-found life and peep into my son’s room. He’s still asleep. Walking up to his bed and lovingly touching his head and tangled hair, I now know for sure that today at least I’ll be able to treat him with one of his favorites…veg-rice. Who knows about tomorrow?

P1050922 shrt

WPC: Treat (Veg-rice)

~~~ ~~~

That was my quick short story for Halloween Trick or Trick
Please feel free to share your thoughts about my post. Not the best picture of vegetable rice but that’s how it came out…:)

© 2015 Alka Girdhar

Hawked Rituals


My Hawked Rituals

I watched the vulture looking at me hungrily as I lay on the ground bleeding and injured. Was it for this day I had come here against my parents’ wishes; hiking all the way to lofty mountains?  A slight twist of feet and down I came rolling to land on this isolated rock. Now what?  I feel dizzy. Any moment she would pounce on me to shred me into bits. 

Last minutes of life. Everyone has them. But could I have imagined this kind of end? No one will ever find my body. No last rites. No religious ceremony.

Ohhh!  And it was only last week I had argued with my college-mates, that my religion is the best; even the way it disposes off its dead. Could never help mocking at other faiths. And now? Destined to be a carcass for this scavenger.

Eyes full of tears, I start to pray, “God, please let me be alive for now! I won’t mind dying in some other way, with any ritual. Please God! Please!”


For:  Mondays Finish the Story 

Such Prompt Predictability

The Daily Prompt:  Advantage of Foresight

You’ve been granted the power to predict the future! The catch — each time you use your power, it costs you one day (as in, you’ll live one day less). How would you use this power, it at all?


Yes.  I will use this power. Very much so.  I’d like to be able to promptly predict the upcoming Daily Prompt, say a day or so before Word Press puts it up for us writers.  For that I don’t mind losing one day of my life.

But to do this, I need no crystal ball.  All I have to do is scroll down on the Daily Prompts page and rotate the mouse-arrow on the list of demised (but often-resurrected) prompts, all this while chanting…‘eeny, meeny, miny, moe’.   Or else, simply close my eyes, mediate and pick one up.

Other than that, I can try to intelligently speculate the market trends.

Scroll down.  Have a careful look.

“This one was taken only last week.  No No!  They won’t repeat it so soon.”

Scroll down further.

“I remember I answered this one last month. Nope. Still too early.”

Scroll down…scroll down.

How about this one?  It was repeated only once, they may go for this.

Whichever technique works, once my predictions come true, I’ll be popular among prompt-addicts as I share the divine secrets and get them prepared to conquer the blogging world.

If the prompt-enthusiasts know before hand that they have previously answered the upcoming prompt, they need not wait for it with anxiously beating hearts. They can relax and chill out, something like take a day off or go for a full-day vacation.

This will give me happiness which will result in good health and longevity. With improved health I’ll be adding extra days to my life, a compensation for days of my life bargained in the act of predicting,

Another thought comes to my mind.  Instead of writing this mumbo jumbo, why can’t I think of some prompts and suggest them to The Daily Post. In any case, I am relatively new to Word Press, on top of that I’m a prompt-loafer so most of the prompts they put up are new for me. Hence, it doesn’t matter to me that they are oft-repeated prompts.

My above rant was all in good humor. But after reading a few serious replies to the prompt Advantage of Foresight, I concluded that generally, most human mortals do not wish to know their future or predict anything for anyone. Mysteries of life, howsoever painful, are better than knowing what is coming ahead.

Say, if I had responded to this prompt by saying…”I would like to be able to predict my own death“, and what if I had actually foreseen that I’ve merely another day to live, then…well…then how would it be possible for me to donate them a day of my life that I’ve committed to lose in exchange for gaining this precognitive power to predict future?

Now that was some conversation winding around the maze of prompts and predictability.

Here’s a different meaning of ‘prompt’:

Do you need an Excuse for a Snooze? Not Me.

Sleep takes up a very big part of our lives. I have often thought about this ever since my childhood days.

It always seemed funny to me how we close our eyes at night, go limp and get lost in our private world of dreams, that too for hours and hours. After which we wake up by ourselves when we have had optimum dose of this vegetative state called ‘sleep’.

Sleep is life, but how much like death it is. A sleeping person looks lifeless but we all consider him/her to be normal because we know they are going to ‘wake up’, become alive and kicking again. It often becomes sadly humorous when elderly members within our families over-sleep and we fear they are no more alive. Only after we have checked their heaving chest or heard their mild snore that we get relieved. That’s how akin to death this sweet sleep is.

This death-like sleep is a dire need for every living being.  Our bodies are programmed by nature to eat food after specific intervals and also take regular rest. We coined these terms exhaustion and rest, which proves we are like machines that can’t handle too much stress and need a break to recharge our batteries. Many people do not seem to be able to do this recharging. They badly need rest but, owing to their secret worries or ill-health, they can’t fall asleep. Sleep deprivation further leads to irritation and sickness before this sleeplessness becomes cyclical and chronic. Difficulty falling or staying asleep is Insomnia and many people, esp. above the age of 40, begin to get addicted to sleeping pills.

Luckily I have never had any problem falling asleep at night. That’s funny given my sensitive nature I should have been the one to be awake for hours, thinking of this and that. Rather as I hop on to bed, within five minutes I am asleep like a baby. I also love cat naps, a refreshing siesta during the day if I am at home that is. I can do without food but if I am sleepy, I just have to fall down on the bed and snooze off, even if for five minutes.  Sometimes I doze off while sitting.

Nowadays I consider my sleep pattern to be normal but there was a phase in my life when I had felt more and more need for naps. Moreover this sleep had a nature of urgency about it. There were dreams galore in this plentiful sleeping. This got me worrying, enough to consult my doctor.

My General Practitioner related this drowsiness to simple health problems like lowered immunity, seasonal allergy or elevated blood pressure. He said, contrary to our belief, sometimes thinking too much can cause more sleep. He asked me if I get dreams. Yes I do, I said excitedly. Sometimes I get nightmares and often very predictive dreams. A night before Australian Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin was killed by Stingray, I saw his death in my dream. My GP laughed at this and said Dream Analysis is not his territory.  Rather, by asking me about my dreams he was trying to assess the quality of my sleep. As most memorable dreams occur in the last stage of our deep sleep called the REM sleep so if I remember my dreams vividly, it means I’m being woken from my deep sleep. Which also means, if my immunity is low, then it is due to my defective non-REM sleep.

The GP advised some tests via another medical specialist who further gave a very quaint verdict. Other than the prickly RAST test disclosing my extreme sensitivity to cockroaches, the clever specialist accidentally saw my nose shape. He informed me that the left side of my nose bone is slightly risen. How come I never noticed it but a veteran who is deft in operating faulty noses quickly pointed out that I’ll be better off with a small operation? He attributed my need for naps to this nose structure. He said possibly I have Sleep Apnea, because even though I happily think I sleep better and longer than all the insomniacs, my nose does not let me have sound sleep at night. This was funny news for me.

Now, Sleep Apnea occurs when upper airway is blocked, causing breathing to stop for a time during sleep. Truly sometimes I do wake up with a jerk but I always thought it is due to common cold.

After I discovered all this I became kind of paranoid.  As I researched more on this topic, I started imagining I have other sleep-disorders mentioned on various sites. Possibly I have Narcolepsy which is ‘extreme tiredness with intermittent sleepiness during the day, which can include involuntary napping.’ It is indeed true that on feeling sleepy I just fall unconscious abruptly. It also makes me a bit cranky if I do not get this nap. But does it qualify enough for Narcolepsy?  My doctor ruled it out completely. Other than that, I’m sure I don’t have Sleep Walking or Snoring.  What about occasional Restless Legs Syndrome but that could be due to walking around too much, I concluded.

Thus, when my excessive sleep began to give me sleeplessness, I decided to take it easy. Finally now I believe it was deficiency in vitamins that gave me plentiful sleep.  Anemia, genetic Thalassemia, lack of B vitamins – all these came up in further tests. People assume that if we eat more than required, we feel heavy and sleepy. It could be true. But if we are eating less than required and this is causing vitamin deficiencies in our body, then also our body urges us to rest and recuperate so as to cope with daily stresses. Eating nutritious food can make one feel less sleepy. That worked for me.

I also got pest control done to keep away allergy-causing cockroaches but I haven’t got my faulty nose operated yet. The cynic in me didn’t even believe there is anything wrong with my nose. Steam inhalations have been enough to open up the airways. What helped me further? I made changes in my diet and sleeping habits. I used to love creamy and tasty oats for breakfast as they are soothing but I discovered oats too are sleep-inducing. Which means, addition of protein based food, peanut butter, boiled eggs, and sprouts helped me feel less sleepy.

Another effort was to have a regular sleep pattern. We may fall asleep quickly and that is great, but if our sleep gets disrupted again and again, we are bound to feel drowsy during the day. If, in a family, different members have erratic timetables and there is even sporadic or slight noise around, we do not get sound sleep. Of course keeping the computer out of the room, switching off the phone, dabbing drops of lavender oil on my pillow, taking Magnesium/Calcium supplements for restless legs, experimenting with sleeping postures, sleeping on the back and many such little tricks worked. Whether these served as a real panacea or a placebo, I’m not sure. I feel, either I had no problem at all to begin with or else the fact is that simple solutions work better for our seemingly complex problems.

The point of writing all this is to convey the ways in which overall sleep management must be done by one and all, in whatever way you deem appropriate based on your symptoms. The goal should be to get enough sleep as well as quality sleep.

That also means if we can wisely manage our sleep pattern then we can get away with lesser hours of sleep, that are better in quality not quantity. Once we do that we’ll be amazed to see how our day-dreaming goes out of the window, and how we get extra active hours that we can spend in wide awake state, doing proactive productive work.

Of course no harm in taking a siesta off and on as long as it adds to your productivity. This stray cat lives in my backyard, plays with her kittens the whole day, works/hunts hard for her living and yet doesn’t feel guilty enjoying her afternoon nap under the sun.
Enjoy your sleep!

Daily Prompt:  To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Header: Sleeping Child – by Dez Pain  http://www.rgbstock.com/photo/2dyWQ1G/no+title


© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Life Diary

For Life Memories

I want to live
while I can

Don’t want to die
before I die

What can I write
about my death

If could not write
about my life

Don’t ask to write
my obituary

Coax me to write
my life diary

As I have so much
good or bad to say

Which to the readers
will surely convey

How to live your life
and how not to

What things to do
what certainly not to

Before any mood to die
get into mood to live

Life is to be lived
death not be waited

(In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “In Loving Memory.”.  Write your own obituary.)

© All rights reserved 2015

Death before death

Tonight,  on the 28th of April, Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran are going to face death penalty in Indonesia.

They are two young educated and very talented Australians who were accused in 2005, of being members of the Bali Nine heroin smuggling ring. Inside the prison, Myuran spent time creating haunting paintings.

Indonesia has a very strict legal system. Somebody has to pay, they say. But is death penalty the only solution? Isn’t it too harsh a verdict for the crime of drug trafficking?
These two had gone through enough penalties before they will finally be put away.

Tonight, on Tuesday the 28th April they are expected to be killed by a firing squad at midnight.  Their families are horrified. Seeing loved ones die a gruesome death is not easy.

Death, scary and horrid
Like the life-less life ‘lived’ by those
held captive by the terrorists

Captive Jordanian pilot being burnt alive.  Pic source: SMH,

I wrote the above Haiku poem two months ago in February, when captive Jordanian pilot was held hostage and burnt alive (in the pic). That was in the hands of terrorists.  Here’s the news.

Pic source: SMH

My previous similar poem Ode to the…well…it’s now scary to use the word….


The Plane of Life


Life, helpless and fleeting,
Like a big plane falling
into the rivers of death

TransAsia Airways plane crash.  Pic Source:  SMH news

TransAsia Airways plane crash – Pic Source: SMH news

4th Feb, 2015

Ode to Terrorists


So you think you are smart, don’t you?
Yeah sure you live in your pipe dreams

Wow!! You are real men, aren’t you?
With power to thunder and create havoc

You want to scare us, want to terrorize
How desperately you seek our hatred!

We don’t hate you, but we do pity
Pity your sickness, your pathetic mind

You disgust us but we don’t hate you
No time to hate, we’re too full of love

You kill, we embrace our dead like never before
Million bouquets united us all at Martin Place

The heroes you killed, will live on in our hearts
And you? You lived alone, died alone, to be forgotten

You loner! You loser! Can’t you see?
You became weak, we became strong!!

You killed school kids in Peshawar, fragile and sweet
In our love for these kids, we forgot to hate you

We tender humans cried freely for the departed
You macho cowards made us cry, then run and hide

You hide your face before killing, and after killing
You live a cloaked and masked dead life

You give terror, we become strength
You give hatred, we become love

You’ll lose your games!!  We will win!!!
It’s that simple…


I wrote this poem after Sydney Terror Seige  in December, 2014 and soon after that massacre of innocent children inside Peshawar school
Who would not be moved by such videos: school children and bodies

My feelings are now apt for current France Terror Attack.  Sadly nothing’s changed….

© All rights reserved 2014